Dinner with Millennials- LDS: Why Some Millennials Might Be Leaving the Church- Mormon
Jan 28, 2019
This is a faith-promoting discussion.
Faith crisis?
Millennials go over why some of their generation and the 'Z' generation might leave the church today or what might cause a faith crisis, including the internet, social media and socio-political issues.
Raw Transcript
what are family dinners like at your
house at my house I have always
encouraged lively debate and discussion
even when the kids were young we would
talk about their experiences put them
into a larger social context and see
what those experiences meant spiritually
my goal was always to make the kids
think today my kids are all adults so
some of the topics have changed and of
course their experience and insight have
changed too so our dinner discussions
now have the added benefit of two
different points of view from one
generation to another I had the idea of
slapping down a microphone in the middle
of the kitchen table to record some of
these dinner discussions this discussion
was on some of the issues that might be
causing some of the younger generation
to leave the church the mic setting was
a little off but the discussion is grand
it's time to invite you to dinner so
take a seat and enjoy
so let's pose a question to you guys how
much do you think the internet plays a
role in your generation leaving the
church why oh I say you said because
there's more information just it's so
much easier to take I think that
Millennials are the first generation
where so much information is available
and because of that no one's really been
taught how to discern what's opinion and
what's fact and so I can look anything I
want up on the internet and everybody's
entitled to their own opinion for sure
but that doesn't mean that it's a good
one or it's correct and so I can
complete given great discuss with people
that are just as lost as I am and
someone that says something with
confidence all of a sudden what they
said gets taken as fact so I think that
yeah there's there's so much information
available that because of the quantity I
guess it's it's hard to sift through
what's actually like not valid of pain
but what's what's real what's true and
what's opinion exact because they'd ever
had it they never have we you know our
generation knows more about the Internet
parents and how to use it by far so
there's no we didn't grow up with hey
guys make sure you've read something on
the internet that you
boudic fact check it that you're like
taking with a grain of salt or look for
you know a positive mm-hmm thing also
yeah right well so I think in addition
to that I think it's that the church
wasn't prepared for it no I don't think
that they got ahead of things it's like
anything right when you're protecting
yourself and you become you you tend to
become more defensive and you tend to
when you're only looking inward in a
sense you're you you don't put things
out there that you maybe should and
address them that are like historical
issues of it for the truth right you
don't come out and say it and then you
go online and you read about it you're
like and even if it's something that is
a fact and it's not opinion you're like
I didn't know this
I always never taught this and it's so
easy you know it's so easy to have it's
like wait especially when you're growing
up and you're you go through primary and
then you go through young men and women
and maybe a mission and then you go out
into the real world and if you haven't
addressed issues ever you can easily
tend to think this was hid funny in some
sense this why did why didn't why wasn't
this why would why didn't I know about
this or-
sort of you first anyways that's the
first yeah are you kidding me like I
think that's just one thing though or do
you think that see what the internet
seems to me like you go to one thing you
don't think you feel portrayed by it no
I think you get it you get a seated out
no I think I think that because of the
way that social media is everybody's in
some everybody else's business so I
think Millennials have a different view
on what privacy is and if you're not
completely transparent then there's
something you're hiding so you're
untrustworthy yeah that's an interesting
so if if I'm being transparent and open
for example with like my bishop or the
church as an institution and they're not
being completely honest with me then I
feel like oh whoa why do I have some you
know complete try not saying me but
that's the point I'm making is if
there's not mutual transparency then it
kind of feels like they're hiding
something from you and why would they
want to hide something from you and but
don't you feel like social media and
phones and technology in general it
seems to me like youth are all trying to
hide stuff I disagree
so would you give your phone to anybody
and let them look through it is me okay
so so I feel so you are hiding stuff
no I expect somebody to listen in on a
conversation that you have that's a
private conversation between people do
you expect your mom to come listen to
all your private conversations because
that's the exact same you know that's
reading someone's text messages those
yeah the same as eavesdropping on time
so this that is interesting because
you're saying that your generation
expects more transparency yes
but along with that transparency you
have you have a lot more personal
history and data that also increases
along with transparency that maybe you
have like all this stuff like you know
your browsing history mm-hmm right I
don't think anybody would want that to
be transparent for whole world I could
care less if everybody saw my brother be
surprised how how that could be affected
effective mm-hmm I know I'm not talking
about the advertiser people that would
build an opinion on you mentioning I
feel like we're expected to be complete
with the church so why should the bishop
the bishop any bury your soul the most
private whatever and not that that
bothers me but I feel like that does and
if the churches and do the same thing
me what does that mean what would that
mean what would that mean if the church
was doing the same thing to you for
years but not that I'm saying they
should actively be like teaching okay
these were bad things of our history
this is the stuff that I do I think that
there should be a church history
sunday-school class and it goes over
everything that's gone over with the
church once I mean once you're an adult
one example of that is that in seminary
though is for example when we the
massacre that happened with like the one
thing they didn't used to teach that but
now they do because of reasons like that
other things such for example black
people not being able to receive the
priesthood until like maybe not but I've
heard I know multiple people for I know
multiple people up at in Utah that they
didn't know about that type of stuff and
then when they figured that out it's a
problem for them yeah it's something
that they they are not okay with it yeah
and they're like why but that's not
really okay I mean the way they knew has
done you ru has done to it but now or
before I am now know now or before
before it's unbelievably different now
like when dad and I were there yeah but
no one knows about it really no no okay
cuz like before they like what they
asked you to leave like well not only
that would be to gay bars and license
plates that would maybe be the BYU view
are you not General Authorities but BYU
or is the
they call the police beware you a police
but I wouldn't surprise me ticket yeah
much prefer that what else is happening
so what they did cuz he used to be like
maybe they still are as they became an
enforcement arm of the of the our code
the BYU police so they would actually go
undercover and like pretend like they
were your friend they pretend everyday
and then right before right before you'd
be like you're arrested coming downtown
no but they were your friend and then
they would ask you about people you knew
do they do you drink do your friends
drink I don't think that's okay that's
not okay
one thing I would say continuing also
the conversation is that I think that
Mormons in general are sheltered people
and the internet does not allow them to
be shown so the internet affects the
Mormon religion a lot because in our
culture it's there's a lot of protecting
you know the youth protecting these
people from outside influences making
sure that they kind of almost live in
this sort of bubble and the Internet
makes us that way that's impossible
and they can see they have all these
different outlets different places and
different things like that and that
makes it impossible for them to live a
sheltered life and yet now they see two
different worlds
yeah right you're like wait a minute I
just what's the term cognitive
dissidence yeah between these two world
women so this is all happening here but
here's what's happening in my family
my parents say and this doesn't add up
yeah I mean they don't know how to deal
with that they've never had to deal with
okay I have faith in this but I
recognize that there are parts that I
don't maybe a rebirth or that make me
uncomfortable but that my fate
Trump's that in the end you know or I'm
willing to live with this because my
faith in Christ is so strong that I know
that somehow that's gonna be okay you
know to me they don't know how to live
with that their only tie okay this is a
hundred percent right and a hundred
percent good when the church isn't
especially well the church is run by
people that's what I mean
so that's what I mean you have all this
faith in even if you look at Joseph
Smith he's treated like a dog I mean
he's and then you find things out about
him people can work things very very
interestingly that are typically true
and then you're like I've never
experienced I've never been able to look
at him as anything other than a perfect
martyr and now that I see these things
about him I can't go back to that he's a
person he made mistakes and that would
be an example of he's very recent
terribly to the other prophets and
during that time there's history room
everywhere yeah with Joseph Smith right
so you have all you have newspapers you
have court records you have all this
stuff and for you guys now that's what's
the same thing but it's it's on steroids
right and because if you were to go back
and let's say you had someone like Moses
you know you're here if there were
records
about his whole life right yeah you
wouldn't have the same well that's not
well no one record you have right now
our scripture records at you in that we
treat them differently like Abraham had
two wives that doesn't bother anyone but
Joseph Smith does bother people no
reason everything Abraham Lincoln honest
behavior okay what I was going to say is
that's not like exclusive to the church
though no Martin Luther King was a total
womanizer
you know Martin Luther King jr. correct
maybe Martin Luther King yes she was
many had close ties to bluff just
organizations Martin Luther King jr.
yeah but what he did was incredible
right right
you know that's a good example of
looking something like what Joseph Smith
did like so that would be an argument to
someone that's like well I can't believe
in the church because they hid this from
me it's like okay well did you know that
Martin Luther King Jr's might cheated on
his wife all the time does I does that
change what he did or decided yeah black
lives don't matter anymore
how much does I mean talking about the
internet but how much just social media
how does it impact what leaving the
church
[Music]
no you mean tonight yeah no but I do
think that people through social media
only show their best side but that's not
what I was saying I was saying that I
feel like I feel like with the
technology there's a lot of secrecy
and so I think that there's not more
secrecy I think that that your secrecy
and your private things are available I
feel I think you have to be more active
about keeping things private exactly if
you have to try to be private
people were before you you have to try
to get out there wait no there's a
people you're just out there so I guess
I'm just saying like you have a
completely private part of your life
from each other and from your parents
because of Technology where when I was
growing up I had like a phone and I
didn't have a phone in my room until I
was 16 that was my 16th birthday present
was like God have a phone but you can't
but nothing was really hidden from like
I didn't have a private part of my life
from my parents I completely disagree I
do too I feel you look at any sort of
like the older movies all these kids dad
included is a great example it had zero
supervision zero supervision their
parents had zero idea what these kids
were doing zero clue yeah in social
media allows them not me project that
out to everybody I didn't I think I said
you told you I think that okay we had
more private life and I said this is
what I talked about pretty close okay
well maybe you are an exception but in
general everybody had just as private of
lives and it was different because there
wasn't a paper trail or a trail of
something or social media to track I
agree that that the difference is I
agree with you but the difference is is
the access that's the difference the
difference is the access to different
people that your parents don't know
about yeah we didn't like is like oh
you're texting who you know or or you're
communicating with who's
who's that who's you know like my circle
of who I could communicate with was like
okay what what age demographic are we
talking about right now though because
my life right now with the internet and
social media is radically different than
it would be if I were in high school
right but you've gone through that right
I wasn't in high school of social media
no but you do have a phoneless
you had you I didn't have the internet
didn't you have a face yeah you made me
delete it once you found it yeah I
didn't have Facebook - I was in a
sophomore in high school Facebook in
junior high and then I got I saw I mean
it's it's everything since the internet
and the phones and everything else but
when I was in high school my made my
sphere of influence I guess or the
people I had access to was maybe
marginally bigger than the people that
were in my classes in school yeah like I
I didn't start even texting people from
other schools until like I was a junior
senior in high school yeah you guys
would know everybody anyway yeah but not
now
like Monroe has I don't know that's my
question
Monroe has friends from all over the
place like but it's but yeah I don't
know I guess I just feel like there's so
much more we're talking about the
information from the internet being a
big issue with Millennials leaving the
church what else would there be with
Millennials leaving the church you know
social issues like socio-political
issues
gay marriage is huge I think that's at
least a starting point for a lot of
people is it the big deal on campus
Monroe BYU campus is it up just talking
to people talk about it yeah like other
students like can you believe how badly
they treated gay people also if I heard
that I've known I would automatically
shut it off your head just in your books
all the time you'd be surprised
did you see that thing in a couple weeks
ago of that guy walking around with the
sign on his backpack saying please wear
more modest clothing he had a he had
like a paper on his backpack that had
quotes from the first length of youth
pamphlet not youth about like dressing
modestly and how and it said something
like you're putting impure thoughts in
my mind being serious he was being
serious without somebody that's just an
extreme person right but they exist
that's just that's just a xub one of the
many yeah all it at this part up but I
was there this right here you walk
around BYU campus it says when you dress
immodestly you send a message that is
contrary to your identity as a son or
daughter of God for the strength to use
someone didn't just pose on that and
make that up it's that just seems so
crazy to me
it's not crazy I mean dorayaki you say
dogs or dorks
it matters would you rather be a dog or
a dork question so this is just part 1
of this episode part 2 will be coming
soon it's important to know that
everyone speaking is either currently at
BYU or went to BYU when we're laughing
about BYU we're really just laughing at
ourselves we're huge BYU fans I gained
some new insights for my kids on how
they are navigating the waters of
information about the church those
waters are stormy and murky it seems
like there's a lot for all of us to
learn hanging on to the iron rod is more
important than ever it seems
LDS Mormon
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