The Most Unapolegetic LDS Voice Online - Trending LDS Influencer Tells It Like It Is!

Sarah Clark is "exploding" online! Her direct, blunt style is reaching online viewers because she is authentic. No fluff. No Relief Society voice. Simply delivering truth and an authentic self. Sarah discusses her background working in Washington, DC, why she became an influencer, and the roots of her messaging. She also discusses her experience with SA as a child.

 Raw Transcript

LDS influencer Sarah Clark is exploding online. What do I mean by that? I mean,
she's growing very, very quickly. The number of followers she has on her Instagram and other accounts, she's
unabashedly, unapologetic about her beliefs and her testimony on the church.
Love the way she talks about issues. Very direct, to the point, authentic as
can be. These are the influencers that are really growing online for Latter-day Saints are those that can just be
themselves and talk normally. We've been so used to having a culture of niceness
and fluff and put your head in the sand on certain issues. Don't talk about your flaws. Don't talk about mistakes that
you've made. And and it's it's detrimental to us. It really is. It is
harmful to us. And that's why it's so refreshing to have a voice like Sarah Clark who just comes out and tells it
like it is. Love what she has to say. Love the interview that you had we had. I think you're going to enjoy it very
much. This episode is brought to you by Go and Do Travel and the three continents tour that I will be on this
April 28th through May 9th. We are covering what are the three continents? We're going to Asia in Istanbul, Turkey.
will be in Europe uh also in Ephesus in Turkey plus the Greek isles we go to
Potmos and Creek and Santorini Athens of course and then we head down
on a flight to Cairo Egypt to go to Africa so we are in Asia Europe and
Africa talking about the teachings of the prophets that walked in those footsteps there in those areas like John
and Paul Abraham Joseph of Egypt and Moses it's a fantastic fantastic trip.
You'll see sites you can't believe. Three very distinct cultures in one trip. Would love to have you there. Go
to quickdia.com, cwicdia.com. Go to the top and scroll down uh go to the top and
click on trips and events. Scroll down to three continents to find out more about this trip. Here we go.
All right, welcome to Quick Show. My name is Greg Matson and I am your host. In this episode, we bring on Latterday
Saint influencer and Tik Tok phenom Sarah Clark. Sarah, welcome to the show.
Thanks so much for having me on, Greg. So, I had been told about you and recently looked you up and looked at all
your social platforms and kind of what you a theme of what you talk about. I love that you talk direct, right? You're
very blunt. Uh there's not a lot of fluff there. Tell me a little bit about your background and why you started
doing what you do online. Well, I have been a Latter-day Saint for
my entire life. Um my family, we I grew up just 10 minutes away from BYU. I
love the gospel of Jesus Christ so much. I, you know, I have I've have not been
without my own struggles with it, but I think that struggles make us stronger if we allow them to. And um recently, last
at the end of last year, my life kind of fell apart. I was living in Washington
DC and then, you know, lost my job, realized that I needed to get out of DC
because I hated it. And so I came home back to Utah and I started a job that um
I wasn't too excited about, but I had this little lunch break and I was scrolling on TikTok and I was like, man,
you know, I could I had just gone on a date with a guy that was like super BYU
and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm all about this. I love this. But then he broke up with me and I was like, man,
that would have been such a fun, loudly aggressively Mormon relationship. I wanna I wanna like I I want that again.
And then I kind of chuckled and I was like, man, that would do numbers on TikTok. And so I like got on and I just said
like, "Hey, I want a loudly aggressively Mormon relationship." Um I wanted to look like Desireette Book threw up all
over it, you know, and and just, you know, kind of like tongue and cheek just like h you know. And then of course, as
they always do, the anti come swarming to the video. And there I had always
kind of like feared what what an anti would say on my comment section, but
then when they came out of the woodworks, I was like, "Wait, I actually know the answer to that question and that's stupid. Wait, I know the answer
to this question. Wait, that's a really dumb angle." Like, and so I started posting responses to those comments and
then here we are today cuz it wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be. And then, you know, the more that I did
it, it helped because um I ended up having to start working on Sundays and
so like I wasn't able to be as consistent with going to church as as much as I would like. But because of my
social media, it had me thinking about the Lord and thinking about gospel topics every single day and like
thinking about them in depth to the point that it's like you want to start talking to somebody else about it. So
before I tackle a subject or before I if one comes across my comment section, I
don't know right away, I want to like spend some time to think about it and to like really ruminate on what I should
say and how the Lord would want me to say it. So um I'm a firm believer that, you know,
it's a Elder Holland's talk about the the choir of life that we need all the
voices. Um, and you know, mine is very direct. There are
other people that are not, and that's okay because we still need their voice, too, you know. But my specific gifts
that Heavenly Father has given me need to be in this space, too. So, that's that's why I do what I do.
So, you talked about the exos replying to you and you were kind of afraid of that. And you you kind of knew, I'm
guessing, going in then, that that was going to happen. It had a chance of that happening. I think that holds so many
people off from getting online. Yeah. They don't want to stir the pot. They don't want to get in the middle of
something. Why add something negative to your life when you're being vulnerable and putting yourself out there?
Uh talk a little bit more about that. How has that journey gone as you've gone through this? How have you adapted?
And you know, is it is it something that brings you down regularly or or how do you grapple with this?
um initially. So my background I worked in conservative politics for years. So
I'm not um my ideas and beliefs being attacked is not a foreign concept to me.
That was like my life, you know, but I had always kind of kept my testimony and
the gospel kind of protected from all of that. So I never like I had a rule like
in politics that I never brought up religion. It was purely secular arguments unless I was talking to a
religious person who had told me they were religious. So I had already kind of like compartmentalized a lot of my
arguments for life in general um in preparation for them to be attacked. But
I I always had just protected my testimony and the gospel to the point that like I almost was like hiding it
under a bushel. And I realized like over the course of a few years that like
maybe I shouldn't. And it was kind it wasn't an overnight thing at all. It was just like a like I don't know maybe like
I do know my stuff about the gospel and like I do know some apologetics
arguments and I do know some of this stuff. I'm not an expert. I'm not a scriptoran. I'm not a historian by any
means. I just, you know, watch a couple different people who have really done
excellent work and I knew some of their arguments and it had helped shape some of mine. And so, um,
with like the EXMO stuff, when you're on TikTok as a Latter-day Saint, the minute
the minute Tik Tok finds out that you are a Latter-day Saint, it just floods your feed with XMO stuff. And it's I I
don't think it's some grand conspiracy or anything, but algorithm. It's just the algorithm. It's just a
piece of technology. It hears the word Mormon and the the market is flooded
with ex Mormon, but but it doesn't hear ex Mormon as one word. It's X space Mormon. They know
that that word is just flooded. And so they just flood your feed with what they think you want to see. And I don't want
to see that. Right? And throughout, you know, my time on social media, I would see other
apologetic apologists come up and listen to their arguments and really stew and
like ruminate on them. I come from like I come from a political science background, so I have to be very
critical of a lot of ideas that I see just because like I want to make sure that um my argument is as solid as I
possibly can make it and I'm not doing any straw man arguments. So, um, you
know, I would watch their stuff. I would really like I would like casually read church history. I would casually
understand some things, but it wasn't um it wasn't like a serious study by any
means. So, when the XMO comments came out, I was kind of expecting like, oh boy, what are they going to hit me with?
Oh boy, what are they going to hit me with? And it was easy stuff. It was like like
stupid um cultural arguments at first just like oh yeah you Mormons are so
vain like no we just have a bunch of sisters
who have all gone to beauty school we just have easy access to hair care you know like that let's talk about the real
world explanations for this stuff and then with the whole like secret lives of Mormon wives thing and everything I was
just like these are like the things that you see on social media but there are real life reasons why X Y and Z is
happening. The reason everybody, you know, ends up with hair extensions or eyelash extensions is because we have a
sister who went to beauty school and does it out of our house. Like we all know someone who does that. So like that
was my initial like foray into it was more culture. But like as like I have
gotten more into it and everything like I do tackle some of like the history and some of the um like doctrine things, but
at the end of the day what actually matters to me is like it meant a lot for
me when um President Nelson really emphasized a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and personal revelation. um
general conference. April 2020 was like a big one for me. The hear him um
conference that I it it matters very much to me that we
make we keep the main thing the main thing and that main thing is Jesus
Christ. So my goal in everything is like all right where does this circle back to Jesus? Where does this come back to
Jesus? If it doesn't, no, we're not we're not dealing. We're
this is not important. If it does, let's talk about it and let's be focused on it.
So, you you have a certain approach that is
very refreshing that I try to do on this program and it is bold.
Uh it's unabashed. It is cutting through the BS and the fluff that is out there
that we often times hear. Not that you don't want some devotional kind of content out there at times, you know,
we'll have some of that even on my channel, but it's it's I I think what is
lacking sometimes in in Latter Day Saint culture is just a piercing dose of
reality, right? And and and you seem to have that. Do you feel that
do you number one, do you think that you're different than a lot of the content that's out there? And secondly,
do you feel a not a calling, but a reason why you need
to speak the way that you do? I mean, I'm sure it's just you, but do you feel that there's that you're compelled to
kind of, hey, I need to get this out there and be straight to the point? Yeah, I absolutely do. And I think
people are starving for that. I think in a world like the one we are living in
right now, people are desperate for someone just to tell them the truth.
There is so much confusion in the world today. And I I feel it and I would want
someone to tell me the upstraight, the straight up, the this is the point. This
is what we're talking about. The end. my uncle um Gary Lawrence, he wrote a book
several years ago, like right before the 2012 election, called Mormons Believe. What?
Wait, Gary Lawrence? Yes, he's an author. Yes, he's an author. Does he live in California?
He does. I know Gary. You know Gary? Oh my god. I've interviewed I've interviewed Gary
on this show. I love that. Yeah, he's my uncle. He and my grandma are brother and sister. And
um yeah, Gary's my uncle. And I loved his book, Mormons Believe What? Because
he talked about it like the the titles of the chapters are like Mormons believe in magic underwear, you know, like
something just like the the world's the world's phrase and then this is the real
life explanation about what it is, what it means. Because people don't
I love the missionaries. I think the church does a great mission program, but
some people just want their questions answered. They don't want the missionary lessons.
You know, it we don't have to turn every question into let's call up the missionaries and bring them in for a
lesson. Like sometimes it's just really straightforward like you guys believe in magic underwear. Well, you're Catholic,
you know, don't don't your priests and everybody wear specific religious clothing? How is mine any different?
Mhm. You know, and it's just something as simple as that that it's to the point.
We don't have to fluff it up. And then it builds bridges of understanding
rather than a fear like, "Oh, well, I can't ask the Mormons this cuz then they're going to bring over the missionaries and I don't want the
missionaries in my house." It's like, no. If you have that if you have that estabus,
therefore less fear. And I I've always operated under that, especially like in
my interpersonal relationships. Like I was talking to one of my friends, she's Protestant over the weekend and she was
like, "Yeah, some of your stuff is just like it's kind of boring to me because you and I have had this conversation a
hundred times like about different topics like it's the same stuff that you
would talk to me about. I just pretend that, you know, TikTok is my Protestant friend or whatever, you know?"
Yeah. My wife says the same thing. like I've already heard this. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. She's like she's like I'm not gonna watch your stuff.
I've already heard it. You know, so yeah, that's that's where my feeling
comes from is that like you know there are plenty of people who you know their
brand can be the devotional. Mine is not. Mine is to the point. It's straightforward. If I were to see myself
in the grand scheme of like Latter Day Saint content creators, what my goal would be is not like if there's a
spectrum here, right? An ex Mormon is over here and pro Latter Day Saint
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is over here. I want to be right here where if you are a Latter Day Saint
on TikTok and the algorithm starts flooding you with XMO stuff, but you catch my stuff and it can then push you
over here. That's what I want. I don't want the what ends up happening where
you just go down this nasty rabbit hole. Like, no, there needs to be a stop gate. And the stop gate is me. If you want
more devotional, if you want more spiritual, it's over here. And my stuff is the gateway that way, not the gateway
this way. Yeah, I I agree with that. I think that there is, you know, you've got, for example, like I don't even
consider my honestly I don't even consider myself an apologist. No. No. I don't I I could do that probably. I've
got enough spiritual or scriptural study and I know the arguments and I know the truths, but I'm like an awareness
person. I want I want people to be aware of things and that's what I try to do more than anything else. I kind of leave the apologist stuff up to the
apologists. But that's one that is one side of the spectrum. you say pro-church. Yeah, that that's great. And some people need
that and they're searching for that sometimes. But again, like you said, sometimes they just need somebody to talk to them.
Yes. Right. Just talk to me about this and and give me the practicality of it. I
have a little term I call practical theology. I I practice practical theology. Yes. I want to know what the practical issues
are here of something and not just your belief. Does that make sense? We so
often just go to, well, this is my belief and this is why it's important because it's what I believe. Yes.
And it's like, okay, great. Good for you. But give me something practical about this. Why is family so important? Why is
family really so important? Why is marriage so important? Why why is Jesus Christ so important,
right? And and and it's so easy, especially in a Protestant world that we're in that's very
well, you just believe just believe in this and that's why it's important because I believe in it. Well, and like
even like having spent some time, you know, I was in the Bible belt for a while.
You're still there. Sorry, I'm focusing. I was in the Bible belt for a while and
just listening to the problems that even they are facing in their churches. It
was like the like one conversation I had with another friend was like I felt like
in church I wasn't allowed to ask questions because it meant that I didn't have any faith
and it's like that's not actually the case you know like the Lord wants us to search for him and learn of him. I mean,
you know, our interpretation of the um 10 virgins and you know, I never knew
you and the Joseph Smith translation is you never knew me. That that is what like we are supposed to seek out Jesus.
We are supposed to seek out like questions and finding those answers, not
just blindly following, not just, well, you just need to have more faith. That
doesn't work with people. That doesn't work with Gen Z or the millennial generation. It may have for other
generations and that's fine for them, but mine, no. That that's not how we roll. We need to know the why. We need
to know what why does why should I have a relationship with Jesus? Why should I
have a family? We need all of the reasons. And the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has those answers.
And I want people to know the answers. Yeah, I I agree with that. There's
there's this battle. It seems to me that uh
of of of church culture has been what for whatever reason, and honestly, the
church is partially responsible for this where you're kind of it's almost a
naivity of of life, especially in the in the in
the Book of Mormon belt there. um where where it's I had a friend uh tell me the
other day, it's it's kind of like you're sometimes you're you're you're laying in a lazy river and you don't need to do anything and it's just you just kind of
go along with the river, right? Uh but co church culture tends to say
niceness and politeness is the number one value. There is not another thing
more important than that. And and so we get this niceness culture as I say we
turn Jesus into a teddy bear Jesus sometimes. Yep. And it's like this this reason not
to speak up. It's a it's a reason for people to oh I don't want to cause contention,
not understanding that truth will always create conflict. You may not try to be contentious, but truth will always
create conflict. And and and and yet we are so immersed in that culture, right?
We're so immersed in in a in this veil. It's like a mist of darkness for us. We
think we're on the right side, but there's this mist of darkness that allow doesn't allow us to go out
out out from that, right? It's it's kind of the inverse of of what we read in Lehi's Dream. And I I don't know. I I
just I just so refreshing watching someone like you and there's some others now influencers that are doing the same thing that it it's so nice to see you
cut through everything and and just shine a brighter light on things and say, "Hey, this is who I am. I'm being
very authentic. I don't need to put some persona on saying I'm perfect and look
at my world. It's no, this is who I am. This is the practicality of my life. And
you know what? In the in the end, it's it's probably just like yours. You just don't talk about it.
Yep. Well, and this was probably two years ago. I'm in a Facebook group where
we talk like deep gospel gospel stuff and sometimes it can get in the weeds,
but I wish I could pull this up. I think someone was just talking about a study that they're doing at BYU about how the
younger generations um like what helps the younger generations to stay the
course and like to hold to the iron rod basically. And what the study was finding was that people need to hear
about struggle. They need to hear about real life. I have gone through this and
this is how I came back or this is how I um continue to stay because of this or
despite this, you know. And it's not so much pretending to be perfect. It's not the pretending to have
to be following exact obedience. It's not um it it's basically the essential
message is like just stop pretending that your poop doesn't stink. It does, you know, and people need to hear they
need to hear that. They need to hear that. Yeah. You are sitting next to a bunch of sinners at church.
You are sitting next to a bunch of them and we all are and we all need Jesus. The end. You know, it's a hospital, not a club, right?
Exactly. Yeah. Well, I work at a I've been kind of mulling this over and I think I'll probably make a video later
about this. I do hair at a drug rehab facility and um I do that on Sundays u
after church most of the time and um I love it. Like I love working with the
residents and everything and it's kind of a ritzier place. So like more more expensive and everything and there
talk about like a real life applicable example of like what the atonement is.
Say the atonement is the rehab, right? You will have all kinds of people in this rehab. There are some who are
insanely grateful because of like what they've been through in life and they are just so grateful to be there that
they're finally at the place that they're going to turn their life around and I know I'm probably not going to see them again, you know, like I'm like,
"All right, like go out there, kid." Like, you know, I'm so excited for you to like turn your life around. There's
others that it's so fleeting for them and it's like they're not ready for, you
know, repentance, right? Like if if this is the analogy, they're not ready for their repentance and they're just here
as like a quick pit stop and then they're on to their next thing and they'll probably end up back here, right? Then there's some that are just
absolutely not taking it seriously and don't think that it's amazing. They don't see the beautiful opportunity
that's in front of them. They they just scoff at it. And I mean, is that not how
at any point any of us behave towards the atonement of Jesus Christ? Is that not how like all like sometimes you are
so grateful for it. Other times you're not so grateful for it and you take it for granted. But what people need is the
truth. What they need is this rehab that's here that you know we they need
people who are being honest and telling the truth. Like I wish church was more like rehab where we had you know AA
meetings you know like that were like this is what I'm going through. help me
see God in this. You know, I wish there was more of that versus the fluffy like
let's have a discussion and we're gonna do the same platitudes that we've talked about for, you know, 20 years at this
point. And it's like what what the church what people need is they need the truth. They need reality. They need real
people. I mean, my comment sections are full of people who are like, "I love how real you are." And I'm like, "You guys know you can be real, too. You can be
straightforward and real, too. You can be as blunt as I am in your own way. Of
course, you don't have to be as intense as I am. That's just my personality. But you you can have this too and you can
speak the blunt honest truth too. And it people need it and they are craving it. I think people are afraid of it though.
Yeah. They're because because who wants to put your own self out there for to be critical and to be that
vulnerable, right? That's right. That's that's what I see constantly. You know, I have something I've a theme that I've gone over many times called the spiral
of silence. And I did this actually I started talking about this mostly after I was finding out some of the things that were going on at BYU.
And and it's like you you find out that these professors are, you know, there's se there there's been
several professors that are radicalizing students and then nobody says anything.
Yeah. The other staff are afraid to say anything. The faculty won't say anything because they're afraid to ruffle feathers. They're afraid about their
position. Y um what is the the department head going to say? What is the dean going to say? You know, and it's
it's like you have to say something. You cannot fall into this spiral of silence. I think it's the same thing with all of us as members.
Yes. We have something plain and precious. Like really plain and precious that the
world needs desperately. Yep. And that should be a a priority for us
in in saying, you know, whether it's online or in person, we should be able to talk about that. You don't have to be
a missionary approach on everything. You can be a friend. Yes. Just be a friend. I care for this
person, you know, and and and I want them to know about this or here's an answer to this. And it's not always a hook to get them
into the missionaries. No. And and I think that, you know, like you said, I think sometimes we play that game a little bit too much. And but
we've got to speak up and you've got to be able to say, I can be vulnerable and I can withstand the arrows
and it's okay. And and I I think people would be surprised at how tough you really are. Yes. You just go out and give it a shot.
Well, and how much you actually won't care after a little while, you know, like cuz at the end of the
day, my my foundation is built on the rock of my redeemer. Like me me and
Jesus were like this, you know? I'm not like after everything he's done for me,
I can take a couple hate comments online. I can take a couple people, you
know, making fun of my appearance or, you know, trying to make what a beautiful thing that I'm talking about
into something sinister and cruel. Like, I can take that because of everything that Jesus has done for me. It's funny
with the whole like everything that's going on at BYU. Um, for years, I worked
for a conservative org um that would like help start groups on campus. I saw that you interviewed the Krueger the
Cougar Chronicle. Yeah. Um Tommy and Luke, I actually helped them get the training to start
that organization back in the day. Yeah. And they what I would do back back
in the day um is I would do surveys across college campuses in Utah.
And I didn't really care what was happening at the public ones cuz like whatever, a bunch of liberals at the University of Utah, who cares, right?
Like then skies also blue. But what was so fascinating to me was how many people at BYU were agreeing with things that
were directly contrary to the gospel and thinking that was okay.
And there were even some that like I put like an open-ended question that was like
um political issue most important. Some people would be like, "Well, I don't like how black and white this survey
was. There's a lot of nuance." And it's like uh there are some things with this that
like I can see and it's always the people that who were saying that that were going against like direct church
policy things that I was like huh okay all right like but we still have to
remember that like we are to stand different from the from the world and just because you know you are
uncomfortable with that doesn't make it any less true, you know, and that is
people need the truth. They need to hear the truth. If I were
if I were in like water and there was a whirlpool, the truth is there's a
whirlpool. You need to stay away from it. It doesn't matter my feelings about, well, I want to go over. No, there is a
whirlpool that will take you down and under. You need to be aware that there's a whirlpool. You need to be aware. You need to be aware. Look over there,
there's a whirlpool. Be careful of it. Yes, exactly. You need to be aware of this. Doesn't change the fact that it
can still hurt you. Yeah. Whether you want to go explore what like it will still hurt you and take you
down. Mhm. And remember that. Remember that like commandments are not, you know,
restrictions to control you. They are to protect you.
Co commandments are not restrictions. They're protections. and and people they need to hear that
and they need to understand it. You talked about struggle. I I saw one
of your clips more recently that talked about uh where you were a year ago.
Mhm. And you were very different than what you showed later on in the in the clip,
which was you were not happy or you were struggling through certain things and and now things have changed quite a bit
for you. Can you tell me a little bit about that? your journey.
Yeah. Um so my previous job I worked in Washington DC and I loved it until I
didn't. I really like I felt like I was changing the world. I felt like you know
everything was one like I really did love my job and then I started wanting
more out of my life and the job that I had was not conducive with a social life. it was not conducive with um
any life outside of work and I didn't see it for the longest time and
then I realized it and then it got really hard for me to you know not unsee
that right and work got significantly more miserable as
time went on like the expectations from my VPs and everything and then I'm going
to the doctor and they're telling me I have high blood pressure and I got to cut out caffeine and salt and everything that makes me happy in life and I
they're trying to put me on blood pressure medications at 27 years old and I was like I'm way too young for that. That's crazy. And then they eliminated
my department and well, let me rewind a little bit.
October, I was here in Utah because we were doing an event here in Utah and I
was driving down I-15 and I was just looking at the Wasatch Front
and I was next level miserable. Like I was so unhappy at this point and I just
said I was like, "Heavenly Father, I am so miserable in my life right now.
I hate my job. I hate my apartment. I hate DC. I want to be back here in Utah.
But I also know that when I moved out to DC, you were calling me there and there were things that I needed to learn out
here and I needed to grow for my own like progression. I needed to go. I will stay out there and continue doing what
you want me to do if that is what you want of me. But if it's not,
please redirect my course. I I don't think I'm meant to be this miserable.
And then I said the words that uh you know, if you're not ready for your
entire life to change, don't say these words. Uh thy will be done.
And uh I trust you. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.
And about three days later, um, things happened that I just knew would mean the
end of my department eventually. And then a month later, um, I was eliminated
and they eliminated my department. And I
was sad the first day. Um, I was like really devastated the first day. But
what was more devastating to me was later um I was driving home and I just
wanted I just wanted someone to give me a hug. I'm not a touchy person. So for me to say something like that is like
serious. I just wanted to someone to give me a hug. And I realized that everybody that I would have trusted
emotionally in that moment was back in that building that I could no longer go into.
And I was like I have made a mess of my life. I had like church friends and I'm
not discounting them at all, but like when you can only go to church once a month and you can only go to an activity
once a month, you're it's not really a conducive environment to to make good strong friendships, right?
And you know, as a single woman in DC, like living alone with her two cats in a
400 foot apartment, like I'm like looking at my life and everything that I thought I wanted, right? Like I I chased
all of that realizing that I had completely built my foundation on the sand and not on the
rock. And I was like, "Crap, I built something that isn't going to last.
I built something that is washing away in front of me right now." And I
was so upset like the rest of the night. like that. The moment in the car realizing I had no one I could turn to
was worse for me than when they told me to pack my stuff. And so I
was up practically all night just like panicking. And then I went early the next morning
to the 6 a.m. session at the DC temple. stare, you know, went through the entire
session just crying and then got into the celestial room and stared at a chandelier for 45 minutes just like I
mean it was it I was next level pathetic. I mean temple workers are walking by and like handing me my own box of tissues. It was really
embarrassing. And um afterward I was like okay Lord like I don't know what I
don't I don't know where what next. I don't know what's happening. And um I
got on the phone with my uncle. He's a recruiter for um Silicon Valley and I was just like what do I do? Like this is
the mess that is my career. What do I do? And you know he's like telling me everything and he's like well what do you want to do? And I tell him and he's
like well Sarah what are you doing in DC? Like really what's what's keeping you there? And I was like well I have eight
months left on my lease. He's like get out of it. Like just leave. I was like okay. And so I marched my happy butt
down to the leasing office and broke my lease that day. And then uh called a
moving truck and come January, I was home. And I was very like rock bottom at
this point. Like everything that I thought I wanted in life, I didn't want anymore. Basically starting fresh,
starting a new life, right? And I'm a hair stylist by trade. Um, before my
life in politics, I was a hair stylist and I always kept up the skills. So, I was like, well, I guess I'm going back to the salon. And
all of it comes back for me to that first prayer that I said that was like, lead me, guide me, walk beside me. I
trust you. Um, because like the Lord wanted me to change my life. The Lord
wanted me out of there into a place that he could use me better.
And, you know, my life is still not perfect. I'll I'll admit there are days that I'm just like, man, I just don't
even know what I want to do career-wise anymore, and that's okay. But the entire
year has been a massive trust exercise between me and the Lord. It's me, you
know, saying, "Okay, I'm going to fall back." like, all right, you told me to let go of this this thing that I'm
holding on to and falling into this abyss, but then each time the Lord has caught me every single time and just put
me where I need to go and what who who I need to talk to, what I need to say when
I've been worried about um different things in my life, like with my like
hair business or whatever, something is always put in my place where I've been completely completely provided for. I've
been protected. I've been um given more opportunities than I could even imagine
a year ago. And so I putting my trust in my heavenly father
this year has been like one of the best trust exercises ever because before this
year I kind of viewed God as
my it's weird. I have a really great
relationship with my earthly father. He passed away four years ago. And I've
always said that the reason like I could always feel like I could pray to my heavenly father was because I had a really great earthly father who showed
me that I could talk to him about anything. And so I still believe that about my heavenly father. But there have
been times in life that I felt like God's punching bag. And I felt like okay
like all right yet another trial. Here we go. Like what next? And like a lot of
my life just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And so sometimes I didn't want
to pray to my heavenly father because I was like what what are you gonna do? Like what what what shoe are you gonna drop now? And this year has been like
all right Lord you let the all the shoes drop. What now? But that trust that I
put in him saying please blow up my life essentially. If it needs to be blown up
please blow it up. And then he did. And then he brought me more blessings than I could possibly imagine this year.
I trust him more than just the when we say, "Oh, I trust the Lord." No,
I really do because he has closed loops for me. He has made things that I didn't
understand from nine years ago make sense this year. He's made um trials
that I've been through finally make sense now more than they did years ago.
And you know, when I say I trust the Lord, I really do. So, it's kind of interesting because I
think it's easy for us to take the extremes on both of those about a relationship with God. Like you can say
in a sense, why am I going through this again? I've got this. I've got this. I've got this. Why is my life so difficult? It's almost like, you know,
God's the oppressor of your life. Yes. Right. And then on the other end, you have people that are just like, "Well, I I just look to God for comfort
all the time. You know, he's just there so I can feel good about myself and and comfort me." Whereas,
you know, those two are extreme ends of things. Not that those don't happen. Yeah. But those are I think extreme level
extreme two extremes on the opposite ends of a spectrum of who God maybe really is. Well, and it's elements of being a
parent, you know. I'm sure as a toddler being told no every minute of the day
feels like their parent is the oppressor of their life. No, you can't put that fork in the outlet, you know, but you're
not the oppressor. You're protecting them. You're not um the oppressor. You
are, you know, directing them to where they they can be safe and not harm themselves. And additionally, a parent
can be a me a great comforter when you need that. But other times your parent is your guidance,
is your, you know, helps direct where you should go, what you should do. That is our
heavenly father. Like you're saying, it's a trust. You know, my like, like I said, you know, my dad,
we're really tight. I love love love my dad. And there were times that like, you
know, I could come to him and talk about like, all right, this is my this is what I
want to do with my life. What do you think? This is where this is the direction I want to go. What do you think? He would provide counsel. He
would provide guidance, direction, whatever I wanted. Um, help when he
could, but it was it was still like my choice at the end of the day. And that
is what our heavenly father does to us all the time. But when I gave my full trust over to him, that is when, you
know, my life turned around and my life became much better for me now. Cuz I'm
I'm never going to say like, you know, the Lord doesn't know what he's doing. He does know what he's doing. He's He knows way better than I do what I need
and who I need. Let me return back to church culture here for a minute. Yeah. Um,
what what do you see in church culture as the you you've mentioned something
that's brought up often times and that is the the letter of the law versus the spirit of the law? You've talked about
that. How do you see that operating today in in church culture?
Um, I think that my mom says this all the time, faith over fear. that like
having faith in our heavenly father is what we need to be rather than fearful of our lives. And in the most
compassionate way that I can sum up at this point, I think a lot of people who
cling to letter of the law are doing so out of fear and terror for their
families. the fear that you know if we break this rule I won't I won't see you
in the next life or I won't be with you. I love you so much that I need you to to follow this rule and whatever. And
spirit of the law is a deeper understanding of it which is a whole lot scarier because you can't control other
people and you can't control what they're going to do and you can't control what's going to happen in their life. But if you understand the spirit
of the law, it makes it easier
to put your faith and trust in the Lord and it helps you to rely on the Lord
more than um than if you are just clinging to rules. There was a um lesson
that we did that was talking about all the elements of like the church. So like
going on a mission, uh relief society, primary program, like all of this stuff.
Um even our covenants like included in that that like all of these things. And
my bishop had done it on like a prey presentation. And so it was like this big circle and then in the middle of the
circle he drew it. He pointed arrows for all of these things to Jesus.
And I think that um for so long or it
was two arrows. So like Jesus representing this, this representing Jesus, like bringing us to Jesus Christ
through these things. I think for so long the arrows were only pointed inward
thinking that, oh, if you follow the commandments, you're going to know Jesus Christ.
No, that that's not the case. You're not going to know who Jesus is if your faith
and trust is only in commandments and in rules. Your faith and trust has to come from your savior first.
And then it makes following the commandments and following what um our church leadership says easier because of
who you've put your trust in. Um like in second Nephi 4 um my sin I I grown
because of my sins but I know in whom I have trusted that you know all of we're
never going to match up and be the perfect Desireette book family, right? But
it doesn't matter because our savior is going to make up the difference. he's going to uh provide the the way beyond
that. So that that is how I view it is that like for so long we thought we
could use commandments to point to Jesus Christ, but I think it comes down to you need to start with Jesus first and then
everything else after that makes more sense. And and I I like using the word trust. You've used that a lot with your parents
and with with Christ, with Heavenly Father, because it's it's really a uh
I I I I and I battle with this. I was just on a podcast the other day being interviewed and I was talking about this. You It's
faith is not belief. That's not strong enough. You believe in something, I believe in something, you
know, okay, great. You know, that doesn't matter much. But faith is trust.
Yes. And and when you really understand that that you know faith the the Latin root
is federary which is trust it's that changes everything and and that trust is built on something. It's it's built on
experience. Yes. Right. It's built on a relationship and it's very true. It's the truest thing I could think of.
You can fake having trust in someone but you can you're lying to yourself and you know you're lying to yourself if you don't trust somebody about
something. Yes. But but you fake it, right? It's it's like you know you know that trust has been built but
uh I want to I want to finish off with this sometimes you've brought up um your experience with
SA are you okay talking about that a little bit and what how what are the struggles
that you've gone through you say you've healed from this yes um this is something that people have
experienced unfortunately um why don't you relay a little bit about your experience
so um I go more in depth on my social medias if you want like the really
in-depth, you know, so for your listeners. I'll just do a little bullet point. Um, when I was, you know, before
I was 10 years old, I was sexually abused by my cousin and I kept it a
secret for a couple years. And then I read uh Chicken Soup for the Girl's Soul
where a girl talked about her experience with sexual abuse. And um, I realized
what was happening to me because I didn't really understand like I knew we had to keep it a secret, but I didn't
understand what was happening to me. I thought I was gonna go to jail um if I
ever told anybody. And so the story was titled, "It's never your fault." And I
was like, "Oh, it's not." And at that point, I decided I wasn't going to um I
wasn't going to tell my mom still. I was like, "Oh, I I don't want to bother her with this. Like, I I can deal with this myself. This is fine." And then one day,
um, my mom was on the phone with my grandma and I heard my mom say the words, "Yeah, I get that, mom, but I
have girls and I need to protect them." And I knew immediately what she was talking about. I was like, "Crap." Like,
"Oh crap." Something happened. Yeah. Um, behind the scenes, what had happened was my cousin, another cousin
on the other side of the family had ratted him out for abusing her and he
was going to court for it. And um,
my grandma had mentioned it to my mom and my mom was not going to let that go. She was like, "Hold up. Like, that's not
that's not right." So, um, I heard what my mom said and I ran into the bathroom, which was the
only door in the house that you could lock. And I got on my knees and I was like, "Heavenly Father, please bless the
mom and dad. Don't ask me any questions about what happened. Please, please, please, like, I don't want to I don't
want to tell them. I can just deal with this myself. Like, I I don't want to tell them."
And couple hours later, um, my parents pulled me into their bedroom and my dad
was like, "Did he touch you? And at first I lied and I was like, "No, like no, no." And he goes, "You are not
in trouble. We want to help you." And I was like,
"Yes, he did." And my parents um were
absolute Well, my mom and I were talking about this last night that she needed my dad
in life to slay dragons with her because that is exactly what they did. Um,
my parents do not believe in sweeping anything under the rug and they were
going to go to battle for me. So, they met with some child therapists in our
ward and they gave them like basically a step by step of like, all right, get her into counseling. This is where you take
her, the Children's Justice Center in Provo, Utah. They'll interview her so it's not scary like the police station. Like all of this stuff, they laid it
out. Get her into get her into therapy. this is what this is who you talk to. This is what you should do. Big thing
was they said, "Cut off cut off his family. You're done. She doesn't do not put her around him ever again."
And my parents blew up the extended family over this was on my mom's side of the family. And they blew up the
extended family over this. It was like, "No, we're not letting this go." And a lot of people in the family were really
upset about it and thought we were overreacting. I was told many times like, "Well, Sarah, it's been a year. I
think you've healed." Like that kind of stuff. Um, and my mom did not mess around. My
dad did not mess around. I was in counseling for four years. We did like group therapy at the Children's Justice
Center. I had to go to court. Um, lots that was a really like tumultuous
time of life. And um
through all of that, there were many side effects of it that I didn't really
anticipate. I got really scared that no one would ever want me, that I was like used or whatever. And my therapist would
say things like Sarah, like it didn't change you. Like your value as a person,
it did not change you. It's made you stronger, yes, but it didn't change you.
And then through church and everything, um I always like I I don't remember
when I knew I could pray to my heavenly father. I just I feel like I always knew it because I would pray over every
little thing as a child. Like if my cat went missing, we were going to I was going to pray about it and then the cat
would come home, you know? like it was it was a I always had that open line of communication with my heavenly father.
Um but as um like I made it a point to
like pray morning and night. I was, you know, very very involved with that. And
I realized um I stopped doing therapy after about four years cuz like whatever
like at that point it was kind of we we were kind of done and I realized there
were some spiritual sides of like the pain that I had gone through that I needed healing for but like there's no
medication for it. There's no like you know I had already talked everything out with the therapist like it was for the
most part and so so what do you mean by spiritual side then spiritual the spiritual side meaning that like I
felt like you know the pain that I had gone through was still there you know I
had talked about like the physical the mental all of that but the spiritual there was still pain associated with it
and I was like all right heavenly my father like help me to get through this
like show me healing like get me through like the final hurdle of healing and um
I it reminded I ended up doing um a project for personal progress for the
for the OGs who know personal progress you know um I did a project through personal progress and I did um in the
room that they interviewed me at the children's justice center there were lighouses on the wall. There were white
uh lighouses on the wallpaper. And President Monson in the young
women's general session, he talked about the lighthouse of the Lord while I was
struggling through all of this. And I had kind of just associated lighouses with all of this. talking about how the
Lord is our lighthouse to show us where the rocky shores are, but he's always
there just, you know, continuing to be the lighthouse to believe, obey, and endure.
And I was like, "Oh my gosh, like lighouses." And so I wrote like a poem
about lighouses and everything that like God is my lighthouse. And then I was also doing a paint by
number at the time about like lighouses and everything. And um I realized like
at the end like I wanted to like frame it and everything and I thought of what scripture I should put around the um
border and I oh my gosh I think it's Matthew something 15:9 or something I
don't know but it's the story of the woman with the issue of blood and how she you know came and touched
the hem of Christ's robe and you know she was instantly healed. And like
Christ, you know, turns around, he feels power leave him. He's like, "Who touched me? I felt power leave me." And she
tells him, you know, like it was me. And he's like, "Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole."
And through my whole time with like abuse and everything, I realized, you
know, it wasn't overnight. It wasn't like this big thing. It was like through the foundation I was building with my
life, I became healed, that like I could talk openly about this. And like there
are still times there are still times like my uncle got parole this year and he'll be let out next year and I'm not
happy about it. Um that sucks. He's been away for 16 years. But um realizing like
okay like that that was triggering and in the not stupid way people talk about
triggering the real way um that did cause like a bit of like fear and um
reliving some of it like that was a bit but like it wasn't bad at all like I used to I used to really suffer through
insomnia I used to really not sleep at night I used to really have a lot of issues regarding
I am a welladjusted woman today. I do not struggle with PTSD
or flashbacks anymore. I have had healthy relationships with men for the
most part. I have been very very blessed by my heavenly father to obtain real and
lasting healing to the point that like my aunt who I don't really talk to at
all. She's married to the guy who we was in well she's not anymore but like who went to jail and it was her son who
abused me but we reconnected once after you know
you know in all these 20 years since it's happened um we've reconnected like
once and in that conversation she just said make it good Sarah
and what I have learned is that when you give it to the Lord he can make anything
good he can turn our worst our worst days, our worst hours into
something good if we just let him. And my whole if my life can be a testament
to anything, it's that, you know, God can make it good and he can turn it around and he can use us for
for his work and his benefit to show others the power of his atonement, the
power that he has to heal us. Um, and
yeah, I I'm grateful I learned that lesson younger because I still refer back to it often that like, all right,
if he could fix that, he can fix anything. You know, he can fix the thing there's not a pill for. He can fix the
thing that you know, you can go and sit in a therapist's office for four years, but the real lasting healing comes from
your savior, from Jesus who knows what you've gone through and who can take what you have gone through and make it
good. Well, sir, I appreciate your faith and and your courage because those are both
testaments testaments of both of those things and and for being able to share all of these things. I mean, whether
it's here on this podcast or online and I hope people will check out your platform. Where can people find you?
You can find me at Sarah's Red7 on Instagram, Sarah's Red on Tik Tok, and then Sarah Clark on Facebook.
Awesome. Okay. Well, we'll make sure to put those links in the description box also, so people can check out your
clarity and your cutting through all of the BS sometimes that's out there. So,
thanks so much. I really appreciate you coming on and maybe we can do this again sometime. Absolutely. Love to.