Faith has a twin sister, and her name is Doubt. They are inseparable. Yet people are always attempting to take Faith out alone and leave Doubt behind at home. What they fail to realize is that Doubt always comes anyway, even though no one will look at her.

At dinner, Faith holds Doubt’s hand under the table and reassures her that, although Faith is the one everyone looks
at and talks to, Doubt is still important to her and serves a great purpose.

At one of these dinners in which family were trying very hard to pretend Doubt wasn’t there, Faith said loudly:
“Can’t you see her? She can hear you. Stop pretending my sister isn’t here.”
“Sorry,” said their Grandma, “but Doubt makes me quite uncomfortable.”Their uncle looked up. “When Doubt is here, it’s hard to talk about spiritual things. I think it would be better if she
were not invited into important conversations.”
“Why?” demanded Faith. “Doubt has the same right to be here as anyone. Doesn’t what Doubt has to say matter?”
“No, because she’s wrong,” said their brother. “And we all know it.”
Doubt shot back, “I’ve actually been right many times before.”
Faith looked around the table. “It isn’t about ‘being right’ as much as it is about when you decide to listen to what Doubt has to say, or what I have to say.”
Grandma took in a long breath. “Faith, what do you mean by, ‘when we decide’ to listen to Doubt?”

Faith said, “Doubt and I have the same job — to make sure everyone gets back, and gets back safely. ‘Safety’ to me
is holding onto the right people and letting them lead us. ‘Safety’ for Doubt is letting go of the wrong ones. Doubt is
the reason we escaped that cult last year.”

Their brother spoke again. “She’s also the reason Mom and Dad left.”
“No,” said Faith, “that was my fault. I should have spoken up and said more during that last conversation with
them.” “When,” said Grandma, “should we decide to listen to you, Doubt, and why?”

Faith nodded some encouragement to Doubt who began. “Well, to start, you should all know that my full name is
Doubt Fear Distrust Shame Struggle Curiosity. Part of how I keep you safe is by encouraging you to question
everything, have an open mind, and understand people whose experiences are very different from your own.

The reason you all blame me for… losing people… is because once someone gets to know me, they like that I
understand their bad experiences, and that makes them feel validated. Once their fears are validated, sometimes then
they only want to listen to me, and they start to shut out Faith.

I know I make some of you feel icky inside, but for others they feel more autonomy, free, and intelligent. I’m
relatable, simple, and people come to me after having a bad emotional experience, and when I empathize with them
they feel more evolved, and their guilt doesn’t sting as much. I’ve tried to tell them that if they stop listening to Faith
completely, they will eventually leave both of us and turn towards Anger, which neither of us want.”
“Sounds like you’re doing a good job explaining why you’re dangerous,” said their Uncle. “If Doubt makes us feel
more intelligent, it would indeed be hard to stop listening to Doubt.”

Their brother said, “The other names you have make me even more determined to not have you here in the same
room with us.”

To that, Faith stood up and yanked Doubt up with her. She raised their hands together above them and addressed the
table. “You don’t understand.

You’ve been trying so hard to never look at Doubt that you’ve never noticed we’re
conjoined twins.”
Everyone looked at the sisters’ hands, which were fused flesh to flesh.

“Without Doubt, there is no Faith. Both of us are necessary for you to be tested, and to be safe. Listening only to me
makes you vulnerable to the wolves in sheep’s clothing. Doubt is here to make sure you fully understand me, not just
listen. Mom and Dad left not because they listened to Doubt, but because they never tested Faith.

They delved into
Doubt and surrounded themselves with those that did the same. Then, instead of challenging Faith with Doubt’s
words, they went away — not challenging Doubt either. They began their journey with untested Faith, and they left
with untested Doubt.

Knowing all of you feel this horrible way about Doubt tells me that none of you have ever truly listened to me —
you just feel comfortable with me. Without Doubt, how can you ever learn to trust me and know for yourself that
what I say is true?”

Faith rolled her shoulders back before continuing.
“My full name, by the way, is Faith Courage Trusting Confidence Perseverance Surety. And you can be certain that
no confidence or surety comes without rigorous testing. If you do not converse with Doubt and challenge her, I can
assure you that you have never tested me, either.”

No one said anything after that for quite some time. Until Grandma sat back in her chair, folded her glasses and said,
“That’s right, your middle names. I used to call you girls Courage and Fear, and I have forgotten over the years that

Courage is doing what’s right when you are full of Fear. Your father called you Perseverance and Struggle. There
can only be Perseverance if there is also great Struggle.”

In the weeks following that dinner, the family made attempts to acknowledge, interact, and test Doubt more often. What they noticed quickly was that they also began to understand Faith, almost as if for the first time.
***
I have a testimony that your doubt is important to your testimony and your mission here on earth. It is an
opportunity for you to grow your faith. Christ did not condemn Peter for losing faith, or Thomas for not believing.
He met them exactly where they were.

Doubt is an opportunity to grow your faith. When you stop to test doubt, don’t forget to come back and test faith as well.

- Haley C. Saunders